What Do Women Want?
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. " - Ephesians 5:25
The famous psychiatrist, Sigmund Freud, once said, "The great question that has never been answered, which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul is, "What does a woman want?" The Atlanta Journal-Constitution finally gave him the answer a few years ago when they said, "What women really want, put simply, is chocolate."
I'm going to let Sigmund and the AJC fight that one out, but the Bible actually answered that question centuries ago. The number one thing for all husbands to know is that our wives' greatest need is to feel loved. What is meant by "loved?" The word used in scripture is agape which means unconditional love. It's not speaking of romantic love. Agape love means loving people in a way to meet their needs. Yet most women have a need for romance, and there's no doubt that romantic love is important. But over the long haul, what is needed most of all is a mature, unconditional, committed love.
Scripture mentions other traits a woman seeks from her husband, such as patience, kindness, and understanding. These are certainly important, but all of these traits keep coming back to the base need to be loved unconditionally. In fact, if you love her unconditionally, the other traits she needs will usually follow.
So, while it is certainly okay for you to keep on buying your wife chocolates, never let material gifts be a substitute for your clear responsibility to provide her with pure agape love.
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6 Comments
I guess I am an unusual woman.I don't like chocolate or diamonds or material things. God says it best, love. I have that in my husband, of course he is not perfect and neither am I, but he loves me unconditionally. And I love him unconditionally too. What is more beautiful than that? - julie
I love chocolate. :) but agape love is good too ;) - Jeanna
Love, of course. But it took half my 30 years of marriage to learn another valuable lesson. When men have a problem, they want to solve it. When women have a problem, they want to talk about it. I used to jump in and try to "solve it". Now, I keep my mouth shut and my ears open. After awhile, she will let me know what she wants for me "to do about it". Listening is also love guys. - G man
It’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t love you. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” -1 Cor. 13: 4-8.
Love is a formula. If you do these things, then you are loving this person, and the love will never fail. Love is an action. When selfishness takes over then there is no love and the result is total breakdown of the relationship. Only Pride becomes dominant where Love used to rule. Pride only seeks self and self preservation. It is only destructive and kills all it comes in contact with, except itself. Spirit begets spirit. It only feeds itself and causes it to swell. The most nasty thing about Pride is it seeks itself out as it is it’s nature to pursue self. For example if Sally is acting in the name of Pride then when Bill shows up on the scene, Pride surfaces out of Bill. Thus the war of self preservation begins, and because the enemy is out to steal kill and destroy, you know the fight will only end in the eventual death of that relationship and ultimately the life of the individual, if Pride is not squashed.
And the only way to squash Pride is through direct relationship with The Lord Himself!!
Thankyou Jesus for making a way!
- annonymous
Yes, and men just want respect so the two go hand in hand! - me
Amen to that G man. My husband and I have been married almost 19 years and he is still learning that, after telling him numerous times. I pray about it though and maybe some day he will get it. I have to remember too that on the flip side, guys need things as well, and I have to be open to that. - Julie